Funny Facebook Status

• When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everyone wants to date them. 

• I do my best proofreading after I hit send

• I have to confess when my crush does something incredibly stupid, it still looks so cute to me.

 

•    Your secrets are safe with me because I zone out everytime you speak.

•   A woman’s anger is like a Check Engine light. There’s no easy way to know what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.

•  Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.

 

• I was gonna vote for [insert candidate] but after watching the debate I’m going to vote for [that exact same candidate.] – Everyone

• Oh no! I have to enter my date of birth to view this explicit content! Damn this internet security!

•   Ladies, the good news is Prince Charming exists. The bad news is he’s just not very goodlooking. That’s why he’s not called Prince Handsome