Health Facebook Status

• If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?             
• My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
• Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
• I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
• The heart is the center of the body but beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason the heart is not always right.
• My brain is giving me the silent treatment
• I want to come back as the .1% of germs and bacteria that nothing can kill...
• omg i just found out im allergic to exercise...at first i get all flushed, then i break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then i cant breath........i wont be doing that again!                
• I don't know if my liver or heart hurts more during a break up...